Reflections

Yesterday afternoon, my wife and I went over to the old family farm house. It was the first time we were there since it was completely cleaned out after the passing of my dad earlier this spring. It was a time of remembering what was and what will be no more. Below is a poem I wrote expressing some of my continuing emotions from that visit.

Yesterday, a house bustling

A home filled with warmth

Kids filling the air with laughter

Home grown meals full of tantalizing aromas

Today, a house empty, forlorn

Silent, barren, crumbling

A large stump decaying

A time lost forever

A time of grief

Missing what used to be

Knowing what was

Is all but gone

Yet knowing

We who remain

Have what is important

Love that thrives above circumstance

Family Gathering - Our Activities

On July 3, our family got together for the late afternoon and evening time. There was so much good that happen there I'm splitting it into two posts - one featuring the food and one featuring the many other activities. So be sure to check them both out for the full story. :)

Playing the hat game but it had nothing to do with the hat
See the purple hat on the left. The goal was to figure out how to
play the hat game by carefully watching those who knew.

 

Playing four square

Playing croquet - a game we played a lot in our childhood days

My wife on the right and one of my sisters-in-law

My sister-in-law on a photograph assignment - a tadpole in
the cup that one of my brothers is holding

My mom and my only sister

One of my strong nieces lifting up my sister on the left

Two of my nephews with their mom's step-mother in the background

We celebrated three birthdays at that gathering. My brother in the center is probably one of the most politically conservative in our family. So as a joke gift, he was given an Obama - Yes We Can t-shirt. He took it very good-naturedly but vowed never to wear it. I have a great family. :)

If you haven't done so already be sure to also check out the post entitled Family Gathering -The Food from this same event.

More Reflections on Mom

My Mom is a special person. And here I want to preserve some memories of her and her life.

My mom enjoyed quilting at home and at church. She also quilted each year
for our local Christian school spring auction. Here she is working on a crazy patch quilt.

My mom made this quilt in 1985. My wife and I are blessed
to have this quilt on our bed in colder weather.

She also quilted wall hangings.

My dad got this apron for my mom many years ago.
My dad was a poultry farmer.

Here mom is holding a ring-necked pheasant. My dad used to hunt them
every year on his farm and mom would make pheasant pie.

Here mom is attempting to feed a peacock probably at the Philadelphia Zoo.
Us children looked forward to those trips to the zoo.

Here's mom from before my arrival on this earth.

Here's mom as a young child.

And here's mom as a toddler.

Fond memories of Dad and Mom

It's amazing sometimes what a photo or a few photos can do a person and the memories they trigger both happy and sad. This particular post was inspired by the photo below that my sister gave to me last week.

This photo of myself with my Dad and Mom was taken around three and a half years ago at the wedding reception for my wife and I. Our whole family with all their children was there for our wedding celebration. And my sister came all the way from from Thailand. She is my only sister and I couldn't ask for a better sister than her. We didn't fully know it then but the normality of life as we then knew it was swiftly coming to an end.

At that time we already knew that Mom had Alzheimers and was having some memory problems. But she could still take care of the house, make meals, and have meaningful conversations. And she could still appreciate and enjoy our wedding. But soon after that her abilities rapidly declined. Today she needs total care and she isn't capable of holding a conversation. Yet she is still special; she is my Mom whom I love and who my whole family loves. As for my dad as many of my readers already know, he was diagnosed with cancer a year ago from last fall and passed away the beginning of March this year. But we have many good memories and that is what I want to continue to share in the rest of this post.

Dad always loved dogs. Over the years,
he had a variety of Collies, Beagles, and mixed breeds.

He enjoyed snow and trying out a mini-bike
that one of my brothers bought.

He enjoyed games and celebrations. Here he and Mom are passing
a breath mint from one mouth-held toothpick to the other.

King of the Mountain after coming home from church

Dad enjoyed gardening each summer. Here he is with
some extra tall sunflowers and I think squash.

He enjoyed reading the newspapers to keep up with both local and world news.

Here he and Mom are browsing hymn books
possibly in preparation for singing in a quartet.

And here is Dad on his 65th birthday.

And here is a dogwood in memory of my Dad

Reflections

 

I'm not sure that I have written about the health situation of my parents in this blog before. But it feels appropriate at this time to share of mine and my parents' current journey through life right now. My mom who is in the recliner has had Alzheimers for many years. We believe she is currently in the advanced stages of the disease and hasn't been able to hold a conversation for a long time now. She needs complete care and all of us as a family takes turns helping my dad and my sister who lives there to care for Mom.  Mom is also unable to walk without the assistance of two other people. Increasingly, she tires easily and we use a wheelchair more when she needs to move from one location to another.

My dad also has significant health issues. A little over a year ago, my dad had an operation to remove cancerous tissue from his nose and behind one of his eyes. One eye needed to be removed in the process. This was followed by radiation treatments. And his prognosis seemed good. But this past December a check up revealed that the cancer was back and that it had already reached lungs as well as affecting other areas in his head. They told dad that it was treatable but not curable. He is currently undergoing chemotherapy to keep his quality of life as good as possible as long as possible. Dad is frequently tired now but is keeping a good attitude. And the fact that Mom needs lots of care I think gives him the motivation he needs to keep fighting on. But it is not easy.

The photo above comes from one the times, my wife and I went to assist with caring for Mom. While we are there, we'll frequently also play table games with dad. Table games are something we enjoyed playing from little on up into adulthood as a family. And I think dad still enjoys even now when he is not too tired. None of us knows what the future holds other than that life doesn't go on forever. But any prayers will be appreciated.

Celebrating Mom's 80th Birthday

This past Sunday, we with my Mom's family celebrated her 80th birthday at her home. My Mom is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's Disease. But she seemed to be really happy while we were there celebrating her birthday. Earlier in the day, a Sunday School class from her church came and sang some hymns for her. I wasn't there then but I heard that she really enjoyed that singing. Below are some photos from her birthday celebration.