Reflections

Yesterday afternoon, my wife and I went over to the old family farm house. It was the first time we were there since it was completely cleaned out after the passing of my dad earlier this spring. It was a time of remembering what was and what will be no more. Below is a poem I wrote expressing some of my continuing emotions from that visit.

Yesterday, a house bustling

A home filled with warmth

Kids filling the air with laughter

Home grown meals full of tantalizing aromas

Today, a house empty, forlorn

Silent, barren, crumbling

A large stump decaying

A time lost forever

A time of grief

Missing what used to be

Knowing what was

Is all but gone

Yet knowing

We who remain

Have what is important

Love that thrives above circumstance

Farmstead Equipment Auction Circa 1987

These photo's of my dad's farm auction from circa 1987 were almost lost forever. They had been in one of my many boxes of stuff up in the attic of the house for more than a decade. As I was recently cleaning out my stuff these photos got thrown in the dumpster but were discovered by one of my brothers as he was sorting for recyclables. I am grateful he found these. They are not the best quality photos but they are precious memories. As a warning this is a long post!

My dad demonstrating that the tractor starts

Cement mixer and drums with pumps among other things

Farm equipment being auctioned off

Old brooders for chicks

In the front - old chicken feeders from the barn

In the front, chicken crates followed by egg nests and equipment

My dad with the orange hat with two sisters and brother-in-law

Chicken nests in the foreground to the left

In the front - many lawnmowers; to the left - farm equipment

In the front - egg carts used to gather eggs in the chicken house

Refreshment stand in the old corn crib equipment shed

Another view of farm equipment with the honey (manure) wagon in the center

Another auction crowd scene

Small items being auctioned off from tables

Another view with the farm house in the background

Some of the many cars parked in the fields along our driveway

Fond memories of Dad and Mom

It's amazing sometimes what a photo or a few photos can do a person and the memories they trigger both happy and sad. This particular post was inspired by the photo below that my sister gave to me last week.

This photo of myself with my Dad and Mom was taken around three and a half years ago at the wedding reception for my wife and I. Our whole family with all their children was there for our wedding celebration. And my sister came all the way from from Thailand. She is my only sister and I couldn't ask for a better sister than her. We didn't fully know it then but the normality of life as we then knew it was swiftly coming to an end.

At that time we already knew that Mom had Alzheimers and was having some memory problems. But she could still take care of the house, make meals, and have meaningful conversations. And she could still appreciate and enjoy our wedding. But soon after that her abilities rapidly declined. Today she needs total care and she isn't capable of holding a conversation. Yet she is still special; she is my Mom whom I love and who my whole family loves. As for my dad as many of my readers already know, he was diagnosed with cancer a year ago from last fall and passed away the beginning of March this year. But we have many good memories and that is what I want to continue to share in the rest of this post.

Dad always loved dogs. Over the years,
he had a variety of Collies, Beagles, and mixed breeds.

He enjoyed snow and trying out a mini-bike
that one of my brothers bought.

He enjoyed games and celebrations. Here he and Mom are passing
a breath mint from one mouth-held toothpick to the other.

King of the Mountain after coming home from church

Dad enjoyed gardening each summer. Here he is with
some extra tall sunflowers and I think squash.

He enjoyed reading the newspapers to keep up with both local and world news.

Here he and Mom are browsing hymn books
possibly in preparation for singing in a quartet.

And here is Dad on his 65th birthday.

And here is a dogwood in memory of my Dad

More Memories of Dad

Yesterday some digital memorabilia pertaining to Dad was distributed to family members including some older photos. It brought back many good memories. So I thought I would share a small portion of them here.

 

One of a very few pictures of my Dad as a child

My Dad and Mom were married in 1954 in a double wedding.

Dad and Mom are respectively second and third from the viewer's left.

 

My Dad and Mom with their first three toddlers

A family picture with all the children; I am the one in the red suit coat.

Here Dad is operating a tractor-powered saw to cut firewood for the wood stove. The chicken house that held 6,000 chickens in cages is in the background. Directly in front of the chicken house was an orchard containing sour cherry, sweet cherry, apple, peach, and apricot fruit trees.

Dad and Mom making apple cider

Dad butchering a chicken while one of us finishes a late supper after work

Dad enjoyed hiking with us kids

Dad reading bedtime stories

A Cornutopia of Delights and Memories

This post highlights a number of delights and memories from the past couple weeks and before - a walk in the present and down memory lane. The first delights are signs of Spring, a bit of Irish Step Dancing, and a couple scenes from a flower show followed by some scenes reflecting on my dad and his life.

 

 Some beautiful Johnny-Jump-Ups growing in our flowerbed

These were growing wild in a nearby park woodland.

 

These were in the same park along a creek where the sun shines warmly.

This past Sunday evening our church's youth group held a soup and silent auction fundraiser to go to a Youth Convention later this summer. In this particular picture, people donated enough money to see them dance. It was quite fun!

 

This is a scene from the Peter Becker Retirement Home Flower Show.

It is a combination of real & artificial flowers and art work.

 Much of this done by the residents of the retirement home

with sponsorship from local businesses.

Here we are singing a favorite hymn of Dad's called When There's Love at Home.

The first verse reads as follows:

There is beauty all around,
When there’s love at home;
There is joy in ev’ry sound,
When there’s love at home.
Peace and plenty here abide,
Smiling sweet on ev’ry side;
Time doth softly, sweetly glide,
When there’s love at home;
Love at home, love at home,
Time doth softly, sweetly glide,
When there’s love at home.

 

Here's Dad's eighth grade diploma. He only had eight years of schooling

but he kept up with us children who received much more schooling.

Here's part of a display that was set up to commemorate Dad's life.

Click on this photo to see it much enlarged.

 

This the planned burial site for Dad and Mom. Dad's body was cremated;

but the plan is that when Mom dies, she will be given a traditional burial

and Dad's urn will go in her casket.  The building behind the tombstone

was an old German schoolhouse in the 1800s.

Remembering Dad

Dad went on to be with His Maker yesterday morning. He will be greatly missed but I am glad that he is freed from his sufferings. Near the end, the pain from his cancer was becoming intense. I am glad that I got the chance to spend last Wednesday evening with him. It was his last night at home before going to the hospital and departing this earth. We played a good game of Upwords that evening. Playing table games with family was one of his favorite activities.

Below are a few pictures from recent months that exemplify some of who Dad was.

 

This picture was from our Rice-Moyer Christmas gathering in January.

Dad knew at that time that his cancer was not curable but he still made

the most of life up to the end. My Dad is the one in the blue shirt.

My Dad was very dedicated to his wife who has been suffering from

Alzheimers for a number of years. He has been a good example of

what true love is and means. Thank you, Dad.

My Dad enjoyed playing table games with his children and

grandchildren all his life. The game of Upwords is being played

here and Dad is using the Scrabble dictionary which got

intense usage during these games.

Dad enjoyed family celebrations. On this occasion

we were celebrating my Mom's birthday this past October.

For those who might be interested, here is a link to Dad's obituary.

Reflections

 

I'm not sure that I have written about the health situation of my parents in this blog before. But it feels appropriate at this time to share of mine and my parents' current journey through life right now. My mom who is in the recliner has had Alzheimers for many years. We believe she is currently in the advanced stages of the disease and hasn't been able to hold a conversation for a long time now. She needs complete care and all of us as a family takes turns helping my dad and my sister who lives there to care for Mom.  Mom is also unable to walk without the assistance of two other people. Increasingly, she tires easily and we use a wheelchair more when she needs to move from one location to another.

My dad also has significant health issues. A little over a year ago, my dad had an operation to remove cancerous tissue from his nose and behind one of his eyes. One eye needed to be removed in the process. This was followed by radiation treatments. And his prognosis seemed good. But this past December a check up revealed that the cancer was back and that it had already reached lungs as well as affecting other areas in his head. They told dad that it was treatable but not curable. He is currently undergoing chemotherapy to keep his quality of life as good as possible as long as possible. Dad is frequently tired now but is keeping a good attitude. And the fact that Mom needs lots of care I think gives him the motivation he needs to keep fighting on. But it is not easy.

The photo above comes from one the times, my wife and I went to assist with caring for Mom. While we are there, we'll frequently also play table games with dad. Table games are something we enjoyed playing from little on up into adulthood as a family. And I think dad still enjoys even now when he is not too tired. None of us knows what the future holds other than that life doesn't go on forever. But any prayers will be appreciated.